One Year

It has been a whole year since I started this blog. What a crazy, amazing, breathtaking year this has been. Where had God taken you in the last year? He has taken us:

into a deeper friendship
into closer relationship with Him
into forgiveness and healing from the past
into dreams for the future
into the pain of loss
into the ministry of relationship
into the ministry of marriage
into laughter
into many broken lives that need His healing
into a deeper love than I ever thought possible, and which is growing all the time
into fun, revealing, challenging, and encouraging friendships
into accomplished goals and dreams (Hello, motorcycle!)
into a clearer understanding of ourselves
into a more inspired walk with Him
into more adjusting and change than I thought you could have within a year!

I am so thankful for where we have been, where we are, and for where we have yet to be. Where You are taking us, Lord, I am so excited to follow. Happy birthday, little blog. The best is yet to be!

Anthropology

Ok, I know some of you made a face. Some of you rolled your eyes. Some of you may have leaned forward, a little more interested. Some of you probably think it's the study of bugs. Or feet. I've heard both.

No, anthropology is the study of human beings. This includes their behavior, their culture, their material culture, their surroundings, their laws, their morals, ect. I LOVE IT. I started studying it by accident. When I started college, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, so I just sort of read the class descriptions and took whatever sounded interesting to me. Which is why math class waited until I was a junior. Anyway, God was definitely guiding me at that time, because I enrolled in Intro to Cultural Anthropology at Aims Community College, under the teaching of a wonderful Christian man. He never shared his views in class, but as I am part of that "club", I could tell by the things he said. He was a wonderful teacher, including a wide variety of views, opinions, and standpoints, as well as a lot of history and interpretations. I enjoyed his class immensely, so when at the end of the semester he announced a trip to the Four Corners to study some of the archaeology and anthropology (the two go hand in hand), I signed up. Four VERY full days touring the southwest (Mesa Verde, Chaco Canyon, all places that are now in my backyard here in Durango), later, and I was hooked.

I love people. Love them. My resume reads: "coffee shop, hostess, Cold Stone, Starbucks, retail, retail..." I love working with people. You get to see the best and the worst of them working in the service industry. Anthropology, for me, has just been the means to an end: understanding and working with people better. I have learned so much from it, I am able to examine, observe, and interpret human behavior better, and then have the tools to express those things in a clearer and more accurate way. It didn't just happen overnight. Although my personality was already given to this tendency, my formal education has expanded and enriched this God-given ability.

Anthropology has been the means to an end. And school was the means to that end. Or as Mike likes to call it, "The most expensive hobby I have ever heard of." That's what school has been. I have never been career oriented. The thought of climbing the proverbial ladder makes me nauseous. I have a hard time seeing it as anything but temporary. This too shall fall away, disappear like blades of grass or the summer flowers. Two Christmases ago, my mom asked what I was going to do after graduation. I told her I would probably move to Denver and go get my masters. She turned around and stared at me, open mouthed, in shock. She very gently reminded me that I had never wanted that, that I wanted- had always, ALWAYS wanted, was to be a wife and mother. I replied, "Hey, when Mr. Right shows up, I am dropping all this like there is no tomorrow!" And when he did, I was true to my word. :)

Last fall was wonderful. Full of walks downtown at night, curling up to watch a movie, nights out having dinner, nights in having dinner. We spent every spare moment together, getting to know each other better. Our friendship grew deeper, our conversations sweeter, our embraces longer (Oh come on, you dated once!). I would not trade last fall for anything.

However, what I did not know was that by creating those wonderful times INSTEAD of keeping myself above the six credit passing line, I became a financial aid probationary status holder. Yay. So now, with nine credits, THREE CLASSES to finish, the school won't give me a loan. Which, I don't get, because 1) It isn't THEIR money. 2) Fort Leisure has a 33% graduation rate. You think they'd want to keep whoever they could to raise that statistic! Anyway, luckily for me (sort of), I had mono last fall. It directly coincided with the end of classes. When my mom saw me for Thanksgiving, she knew something was wrong. I was so tired, simply exhausted. I just thought I was overwhelmed with life. And I was, but my body was working against me at the time too.

So last week I appealed for a change in status. I have a very high GPA, even with last fall's little, um, fluke. I just finished a summer class with a very good grade, and so I'm hoping that the school will allow me to finish. If not, we are going to be unable to move on until I do. I hate that.

So, dear friends, if you could pray for me this week, that I would have favor and not kill anyone, that would be great. I really want to finish, 1) Because my grandfather has fully heaped on the guilt. 2) Because I do want to walk across that stage and say I did it. 3) I want to prove to Mike that paying off my "hobby" won't be in vain. 4) I know I would regret it, I'm so close. 5) I want to be able to move on. It's time for us to start in a new direction, I can feel it. I want to be able to run head on into what God has for us next, with no ties binding us here. That means more to me right now than anything else.

Forest for the trees.

I am a big picture person. In a major way. I love talking to someone about something, and then getting to point out to them what they may have been missing from focusing in too closely on a subject. We are all products of our environment. And that goes for situations too. I recently was speaking to a dear friend who is caught in a awkward and very painful divorce. She is really not sure how she should relate to her former in-laws, or even if she should. After describing a specific event to me, I pointed out to her some aspects of the bigger picture. That's what drew me to anthropology; there is no ONE answer, it's a little bit of everything. (Are we a product of nurture or nature? Yes. Was the color of your eyes part of your self esteem as an adolescent? Yes and no. Does socioeconomic background enable you or imprison you? Sort of. I love anthropology. :) Anyway, I actually really like that about me. It enables me to search for answers that wouldn't be readily apparent, or think of things from a different angle. It also helps me appreciate things that I don't appreciate.

Which brings me to why I'm writing this. Mike is a single tree kinda guy. That's it, one tree, one. No, there is no forest, there is just single tree after single tree. I love being the forest girl, but I do tend to miss out on the trees. Details are important. They are usually what give a tree its uniqueness, as well as its beauty. I miss out on that sometimes. I appreciate this viewpoint because it is the perfect compliment to mine. We balance each other out. Mike is able to focus in, really look at an issue. He is able to analyze it, evaluate it, study it, and then pronounce a judgment. He is wise that way, because it is a more informed way to make decisions, and a clearer vision of the situation. Mike has the patience, dilegence, thoughtfulness, thoroughness, and clarity that I sadly lack. He is able to guide our family in a more informed way. Which I abundantly and vocally am thankful for. I am not afraid to ever be adrift in uncertainty. Not with the focus God has given him, or the vision He has given me.

Then again. Maybe the tree is just a tree. :)

Nicole and Trent's Wedding- 2

This is Dustin and Lacey. Dustin is Marty and Val's son, and Lacey is his lovely wife of five years. Dustin was always the super intelligent one, talented in drawing and architecture. He is in accounting, which seems so unlikely when you meet him. A great boyish smile, Dustin always wants to know everything that is going on with you. He asks tons of questions, and talks to you like you are the only one in the room. Lacey is a sweetheart, and very beautiful. We are still getting to know her, being eight hours away, but her sweet personality and warm smile are intensely welcoming when you speak to her.

And this is Livia, their sweet little girl, born just before our wedding. The first great-grandchild, and first grandchild in their family on both sides, this little princess is a doll. I hope we get to go out and see them more often, and see her personality develop.

They got to meet Mike for the first time on the trip, and seemed to really like him. I am so glad; he just seems to fit this family like a glove.

One more! Well, maybe two... ;)

My hubby- the...

Well... would you call it a people person? I don't think that's the right term.

Since being married, I am discovering something very wonderful about Mike. He really loves people. I knew that he kinda sorta put up with them, and occasionally really got along with someone, and on the rarest of days would have a deep conversation with someone.

I had missed it.

Mike LOVES people. He knows almost everyone in the three buildings around us. Part of that I think is the protectiveness, knowing and understanding one's surroundings. But it's more than that. He small talks with them. He's friendly, and introduces himself to everyone. I love this, because although I love people and am friendly in my job, I tend to not be when it comes to my life. Which is silly, I have created isolation for myself with relatively little effort in my life, yet my customers would call me a good friend! I have a feeling that won't be happening again for- well, the rest of our lives. Yay!

Not only that, but- and again, I knew that he was a good friend, heck, he's my best friend, which means I see that he has very good friend qualities- but I didn't realize what a wonderful friend he is. First, to his friends: I got to witness this friendship summer when one of his friends came to visit us. I have seen it over the past year, again and again with another. A calm, gentle, firm, honest, very open discussion, followed by wise, but undemanding council. The conversation could be on marriage, honesty, forgiveness, betrayal, dating and relationships, it doesn't really matter. If it's about the heart, Mike wants to talk about it. He is deeply interested and invested in his friends, and wants to see God work in their lives, even if they aren't Christians. I love that.
And secondly, with my friends: Mike has impacted, uplifted, encouraged, consoled and counseled several of my friends in the past year. It is humbling and amazing to watch. A man of deep convictions, who cares for these hurting women, and upholds truth in love as he speaks to them. I am so lucky. God has blessed me so much with Mike.

So there you go, I'm still learning about him. I can't wait to see this wonderful ability put to work in our life. What a wonderful joy to behold!

Sometimes I wonder...

"Imagination... is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein

So there! :)

Why on earth do they make the words in the little boxes that you have to type as a safety guarantee- not real words? "Nibit" "smaliline" "guaraw" "Havive" What? And what do those boxes really protect against?

How do they get fireworks to make shapes? Like hearts, stars, planets, things like that? Why did they not offer that internship at job fair?

What is the psychology behind Facebook games- and why can I not stop playing them?!

Why did that stupid novel I picked up from the library this week on Alexander the Great ONLY want to talk about homosexuality? Ok, I get it, it was a part of the culture. MOVE ON! The guy conquered all of the known world, and into the unknown- larger than the Romans ever did, and there was NOTHING else you could talk about for a book?! Really?

Why are colleges so bureaucratic- and for that matter, how did I not know what that word meant before Mike, and why can I not stop saying it now?

How is my sink filled to overflowing with dirty dishes- AGAIN?!

How do dreams really work? I had a dream last night that it was our wedding, but the only thing that was the same was the clothes we were wearing. It was in the old church building we were in when I was a child. Tiff was there, and Shannon's daughter Emmy, and my family and Mike's family. Last week, I had a dream that it was my birthday and everyone was singing to me. I was naked. My naked dreams never freak me out, more like, "Um, I should probably take care of this."

Why do none of the people in my naked dreams realize I'm naked? That's almost worse!

How am I going to get through this EGC class? Social Change in Action, what do you think that is? Wrong. It is the study of oppressed cultures and we have to ACT OUT ON STAGE how to solve those social problems. Yeah.

What do you wonder?

You know what I love?

Mike. I know, your shocked. :)

But what about him am I specifically referring to today? His crazy brain. Mike is definitely a single tree kind of guy, whereas I am the whole forest picture person. He crunches numbers, expertly finagling our finances repeatedly in order to benefit us better. Math makes me throw up. He can take apart and put back together (almost) any gun on earth, and does so frequently in the middle of my living room. The thought of all those intricate parts gives me a headache. And he can remember all the rules and strategies he's read about and figured out for a number of video and computer games (Lucky me). If it's more complicated than Candy Land, I want no part of it.

But that's what is so great about it. Even though the application of those neurotic behaviors drives me to drinking, the ability and mastery of them amazes me. He reads up on his interests constantly, giving him a lot of wisdom and knowledge on them, both general and specific. He is able to converse with a wide range of people, and impart his knowledge of a subject on to them. I love his diligence and one track mindedness, because he actually gets things done! Whereas I flit from job to job, getting them all done, just in a very haphazard way.

He's crazy. And I love him. I wouldn't trade the partner God gave me for anything in the world. I'd be pretty lost without him. :)

Sometimes I wonder...

Let your mind wander, and your imagination roam free!

Why are things never made the way they were used to? If that is true, are we creating reverse evolution?

How are the wonderful mystery of marriage and the adventure of our relationship with God are completely lost on us? How do we miss the point so much?

When do we let go of people and leave them to their own consequences? When do we draw the line between loving them enough to hit them over the head, and letting go, even if we see the destructive path their on more clearly than they do?

Why do watermelon products taste nothing like watermelon?

Why doesn't my husband look at me like I'm insane more often?

WHY, OH WHY doesn't everyone drive a motorcycle!?!?

Was life this adventure before I met Mike, and I just didn't realize it? Or did my life truly begin the adventure after I met him? The dance, without question, has been in progress my whole life, but it became breathtaking and mesmerizing since him!