Trying to keep my heart in check.

I drove away that night, blown away by the evening. I called my roommate. "Are you just NOW leaving?!" I laughed, "Yes. I had a great time." "I GUESS!"



Ok, devious plan time. Mike had said he was going to be at first service, and I was going to be at second. So, what if I tried to intercept him between services. I know, I know, I'm devious. I was also VERY cute that day. :)



My roommate dropped me off, and there he was, dorky Walmart- I mean lovely blue safety vest and all. I hadn't realized that he was doing the safety and security at the River Church, but it sure was perfect for pointing him out to her. I got out of the truck, and walked over to say good morning. His smile was so bright. Have any of you noticed that? His smile just makes you feel like a million bucks. Anyway, I went into service, and of course had to stop and tell all of my Bible study girls how it went. I ended up sitting with Tammie in service. Can I emphasise to you, O patient listener, how difficult it is to listen in church when this person who totally fascinates and intrigues you SITS DIRECTLY ACROSS THE AISLE FROM YOU!?!? Sorry, Pastor Dwight, I didn't hear three words that day. Tammie kept laughing at me, because about once every ten minutes, my chin would tilt to the side and my eyes would face heaven, followed soon after by a physical and mental shake. I waved to him after church, and went to find Jinny for lunch.



We were at Zia, and I proceeded to inform her on the events of the previous evening. We sat there for over an hour, and I just bubbled over with excitement. Checking my phone after leaving, I saw that Mike had called. He had invited me to go out to lunch with him and Ryan and Sommer. I had a small freak out. He wanted me to meet his friends. Ladies, you know what I mean, that's a big deal. To him, it was just a, the more the merrier kind of thing. Now, my plan was to call him on Monday and see if he wanted to go to a movie on Friday. I figured giving it another day would be wise. But he had called, so it was fair game. I called back.



"Hey, sorry I missed your call, I was out to lunch with Jinny."

"That's ok. I just thought if you weren't doing anything."

"But I do want to hang out. Do you want to go to a movie on Friday?"

"Friday- yeah, Friday sounds good. Anything in particular you wanted to see?"

"I really have my heart set on seeing Hannah Montana."

Silence. I was teasing, he had said the night before that he WOULD NOT see that movie.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to pass."

"What?! You don't want to see Hannah Montana?! Mike, I'm so disappointed in you."

I heard him smiling. "Yeah, I know."

"Ok, Friday then."

Friends, I wish I could accurately explain what happened next. Monday dawned bright and clear, one that would make Rogers and Hammerstein burst out in song. I had Disney music playing all morning. I was literally walking on air. Then I went to work.

Ok, HUGE EMOTIONAL PENDULUM SWING. I began doubting. "There is no way this guy really likes you. There is no way this will work out. He was just pretending to listen to you all evening. He didn't really smile that brightly when he saw you at church. Get a grip. It hasn't happened this far, what makes you think that it's going to happen now?" See what happens when we let emotions go, and don't lay it all down at our Daddy's feet?

But even more than all of that, faithful listener, was the longing.

I missed him.

Truly missed him.

How can that be? I tried to scold myself out of it, "Miss him?! You can't miss him! It's been two days! What is your problem?!" But I did, I did miss him. I finally calmed myself down to the point of being able to again say "Jesus, not my will, Your will. Not my way, Your way. Not my time, Your time." I woke up Tuesday in that attitude; it's out of my hands, and in the Author of my life, I will put my trust.

And then he called.

Yeah, I was ok with waiting until Thursday to talk to him about our plans for Friday. He wasn't. We went for a walk after youth group that Wednesday night. Ended up on the swings by the river for over an hour, talking about our families. Broke the touch barrier when he had me feel the scar on his forehead, and I showed him my broken teeth. (A story for another time, perhaps.)

If you are keeping track, we have now had a four hour date, and a three hour date.

Friday, I left after being together for nine hours straight. We met after he got off work, and went out to his parents' house. They were out of town, but I didn't know that before I asked, "So, you're going to throw me in front of that bus, are you?" Well, come on, it's our third date! Don't worry, he waited one whole more week before that happened. Anyway, we went bowling, came back and ate dinner, watched Australia, which wins the award for most slow-mos in a movie, and he showed me his scrapbook from the service. The gloves came off then, and we talked about the relationships we had had in the past. I left at one-thirty in the morning, and don't remember a single minute of that forty minute drive home.

Three hours and two giant blisters later...

We sat on a bench outside Nini's, finally having exhausted ourselves wandering around downtown. We had talked about EVERYTHING. Friends, family, the future, music, movies- we had laughed, joked, questioned, and been intruiged. The cute shoes had effectively worn blisters onto my feet, and I was doing my best to not limp. We sat talking about violence and the loss of innocence- I told you we talked about everything. I was impressed by (and trying not to giggle) the fact that he had gotten righteiously angry over the story of one of my friend's abusive marriage. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but led to this statement: "I'm pretty black and white." to which I answered, "I'm more of a peacock." He burst out laughing, "What!?" "Oh, purples, blues, greens, golds, it's all in there." He laughed some more, "I've never heard anyone discribe themselves that way." By this time, it's 10:40 at night, and we have church in the morning. I needed to say something. "Well, Mike Dombrowski, I can be a lot to take, and I know that about myself. I am open to hanging out again, if you want to, but if not, that's ok too." Hey, sometimes we just need an out. A joint escape clause/self-protection measure. I had had so much fun, but I wasn't about to force someone to do what they did not want to, or feel like they had obligations to uphold. He just chuckled. "I would like to hang out again." Wow, ok, that's unexpected. Great, but unexpected. He still laughs about this. "Why would I have not wanted to hang out again?! Who wouldn't want to?" But remember, dear reader, I had been a lone wolf for a long time. We got up off the bench to head to my car. "Well, I'm glad you didn't believe all of the rumors about me." He laughed, "What rumors?" "I don't know, I'm sure there are some. Who gave you my number?" "Jill. I just called her up and asked."
I'm so glad he did.

Passion Unleashed

"Don't get me started."

Too late, I was already being passionate.

We sat at No Way Jose's, scarffing down the perfect first date food- messy, all over your fingers and face Mexican. We are already starting out by not trying to impress each other. We had been casually chatting up until this point, but once Mike mentioned art, we were done for.

"Don't get me started."

He really should have listened.

Right there is where I distinguish when the "coffee outing" became a date. I started to describe my favorite sculpture, this Nike from the Roman era. I love the way she looks. I think it is better without arms and a head, because it is easier to imagine yourself there. Doesn't it look like she is standing on a cliff, maybe overlooking the sea? What freedom she must feel, standing there, imagining herself as a bird on the wind, diving and soaring on the currents. The salty wind whips her veil thin clothing, and tosses her curly hair, piled high on her head, encircled by gold rope. She is a women of high rank, coming from a family of fortune. Perhaps in her daily life she feels trapped, and this is her one place of escape. This wild edge of the earth, sun-kissed, and plunging down into the rough waves below. When I look at her, I can hear the waves crashing upon the rocky terrain, and the whoosh of the wild grasses that surround her. I feel the wind, and the sun, and the liberation of the moment. I feel like that in my walk with God. Remember Indiana Jones and the Search for the Holy Grail? "Only the leap from the lions head will prove a man's true worth." (Or something like that.) And Indy steps out into the void, merely on faith, because there is no way his mission will continue without passing this test. I feel like that a lot, that God calls me to step into the void, and trust that He will make a way. Anyway, once he said art, I told him about Nike, that was it. I opened up. We talked for over an hour. I watched him repeatedly get passionate in response to our conversation, and then reel himself back in. "What was he doing?" I wondered. "Is he afraid to open up? Lord, just let him feel comfortable with me." Mike suggested we walk down the the Open Shutter photo gallery to check out some of the art in there, I had never been, and it sounded great. After two quick pee breaks (gotta love the bladder), we stood in front of the gallery. It was closed, but the illuminated portraits out front were more than enough. This beautiful print of a mountain scene was displayed in the window. Blue sky, mighty mountain, beautiful aspens glistening in the sunlight. We stood out front, and I got myself lost in the photo. I remember sighing "Doesn't that shade of blue just make you want to cry?"

And the only other thing I remember, is how he had to stop himself from staring at me.