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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Marital Bliss

We did it.

We sat on the love seat in our apartment on the evening of Saturday, April 17th, 2010, and could'nt believe it.

We did it.

The ceremony was perfect. Truly the culmination of four months of planning, five months of engagement, 12 months of relationship, 23 years of waiting, and 28 years of hoping. It was the crowning flourish of our time apart. The exclamation point our Father chose to put on the time and preparation HE had put into all of this. And the most magnificent way to send us into our life together. It was truly God's perfection.

As an added blessing and surprise, my dad chose to share with us his blessing while giving me away. My dad is a wonderfully deep, and feeling man. His words of love and encouragement warm my heart even now, as he welcomed Mike into our family. He expressed his pride and joy in each of us, and our choice of each other, and declared that our lives would be blessed. It was wonderful. He was wonderful, as he stood there, delivering a speech that must have made his stomach tie up in knots, and definitely made his eyes well up with tears. He was comforted by my mom at his side, a fitting and true testimate to their marriage vows and relationship, which works itself out each and every day. They truly are each others helpmate and best friend. The way Mike and I want to be. Perfect? Not even close. But they choose to love, each and every moment of every day, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Dear friend, I wish you could have been there. Or maybe you were, and you read these words with a knowing smile. For those of you who weren't, it was a day soaked with Christ's love. Was it a perfect day? FAR FROM IT. No, it was not the fairytale day I had envisioned. But you know what? It didn't matter. At the end of the day, I was married to Mike.

Sort of. :) We forgot to sign the marriage certificate. We both have our phones on silent, but when we checked to make sure they were off, we each had multiple calls and texts telling us that we had forgotten one very important detail. Oh well. I looked at Mike, he looked at me, and neither of us cared. In the eyes of God and all those witnesses, we were married. The state of Colorado could wait until we got back.

We sat there, at the end of our day, just trying to drink it all in, struggling to absorb even a fraction of the day. There hadn't been nearly enough time, and one of the longest days of our lives at the same time. You know what's really neat? The only parts of the day that were rough were the parts without Mike in it. It was only when I was holding his hand, kissing his cheek, and laughing in his arms that the day seemed truly magical. He said he had been anxious to see me, even for a moment. Every thing within him was crying out my name. I could relate. I couldn't wait to walk down that isle. The day couldn't go by fast enough. Even with my very choreographed processional that I had planned for years, everything within me wanted to RUN down that gauntlet of people. The back of the sanctuary had a large window that I would have to pass by in order to enter the doors. My dad held a large black and white umbrella as we walked by it to hide me before my grand double door entrance (Thank you Jesus!). Mike said that he wanted to see me so badly, just a glimpse, and when he saw that umbrella go by, his heart sunk, because he knew I was behind it, and he'd have to wait a few more seconds - an eternity - to get to see me. As we walked down, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I didn't even want to blink, because I'd miss even a millisecond of this moment. (For those of you who happen to be gagging on the cheeseiness at the moment - get over yourself. You clearly have never been in love.) My dad put my hand in Mike's, and I held on for dear life. I realized halfway through the ceremony that we had been CLENCHING each other's hands, and I was beginning to lose some feeling. But I didn't want to let go. I didn't cry, and neither did Mike. Our voices never wavered, although Mike wasn't sure he was going to get through the vows, something about being distracted at the moment. :) But there were no tears. Just excitement. I couldn't wait to be joined with this man. This holy, righteous, Godly man, who is by no means perfect, but he's perfect for me. We are so US when we're together; we joked through communion, I guided him through the dance that was our communtion/sand pouring/prayer song, and I impatiently poured too fast and ran out of impetuous, excited, clumsy white sand, so the top of the vase is covered by his patient, loving, slow to anger black sand. :) I love us.

And so we sat there. Feet exhausted, makeup starting to smudge, deodorant on its last leg, flowers wilting, the hem of my dress dirty from being dragged and stepped on. But we were married. Wholy, reverently, excitedly, relievedly, abundantly, perfectly, blissfully, FINALLY MARRIED!

And that, my dear friend, was all that mattered in the world.

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