A Good Marriage

"There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage." -Martin Luther

How hard it is, isn't it, to truly trust another human being? Even if you are totally convinced that this person would never intentionally hurt you, there's still those times when you feel like running and hiding, don't you? It's funny, I think I was perceptive beforehand, but after my training as an anthropologist, I analyze and look deeper into everything. Not only to I behave, act, react, speak, and reason out of instinct, I then look back and ask why I did any or all of those things! I bought a bag of Cheetos this month while Mike was gone. It was a frivolous purchase, and I knew it, so I was determined to have the evidence gone by the time he got back. Why? He already knows I'm frivolous and act on whims- what would this bag of junk food say to him that he didn't already know? We're funny like that, aren't we? We can rationalize away just about anything, excuse our bad, rebelious or impetuous behavior, a just generally float through life not taking responsibility for our actions. Owning up to my own selfishness and bad attitudes- that I wasn't even aware of- has become a challenge in our early married life. If I don't recognize them, how will I repent, and if I don't repent of them, how will I change, and if I don't change, how will I become the woman of God I so desperately want to be? Are you trucking with me on this, or am I out in left field?

I want a good marriage. Desperately. And I want to be a good wife. Wholeheartedly. Lord, give me the strength to look my sin and flesh in the face, recognize it for what it is, and crucify it daily. Lord, I give you all of the strength and ability that is within me, every cell, sinew, molecule; I am Yours. Use me in my marriage as a partner, a helper, a companion, a trusted ally and friend. You have created me for this man, and for this marriage. Help me to live up to that. Help me to excell in that. Help me to be an example to others.

Just don't let me screw it up.

Amen.