The difinitive call

I said I would tell you what happened over the summer. Well, the miraculous. It was two months into my being at home with my family, with about a month to go. God had really shaped our friendship during those summer months. Only having the phone to hang out with really makes those conversations worthwhile. As much as we didn't like it, that time was good for us to be apart. It made us realize just how far we had come so fast, and how much we truely appreciated and enjoyed each other's company. I'm tempted to say that all relationships should have this period of separation, to see if the togetherness will stand up to the test. It may shed a clear light on things that are better left discarded, or worth holding onto with all your might.

So it was the middle of June, and I was babysitting. Megan and Benjie had come up to Loveland for a wedding, and the girls needed to be looked after for the afternoon. Who wouldn't want to watch those two? God bless those little rays of sunny delight! So I was watching the girls. I put them down for a nap, and hopped on the internet to waste the day away. And Mike called. SIGH! How I love that man! No, seriously, ask my family. I was such a sad puppy all summer. They deserve a medal for putting up with me that way.

I stepped out into the hallway to be able to talk, and left the door cracked open to listen. We began talking, the usual, light hearted stuff. Work, the weather, that we had been thinking about eachother. Sadie decided to wake up just as our conversation was getting more personal. I had to bring her out with me so she wouldn't wake Lily, but didn't have a whole lot for her to do. We walked around the building, stuck our feet in the pool, and ended up sitting outside the room again, where she proceeded to rip apart three different brochures into tiny little peices. Mike and I were talking about our friendship and how we thought things were going. And without warning (or meaning to), I dropped a bomb on him. "Wait, what?" he interupted. "What do you mean, what?" I was confused. "Did you just say you wanted to marry me?"

Now, we had already had this conversation. About a month and a half before that. Here were my exact words:
"I want to laugh, cry, plan, dream, have kids, and work with you, for the rest of my life."
Now, to me, that's pretty clear. But apparently I needed to clarify.

"Michael Dombrowski, I want to be your wife within the year."
Silence.
"Wow."
I started laughing. "I already told you that!"
"Not in those exact words! I just... Wow."

I'm still laughing. I thought of that this week as we are going through marriage counciling with Mark. Communication, even between people who want to be clear always and never missunderstood, can be muddled. I told him that first night that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and how well he knows it. He strives to always keep me informed and to never be vauge, which I appreciate. Mind games have no place within a marriage, and playing the guessing game is neither fun nor fair to either spouse. Things placed out on the table, out in the open, are the ones that get dealt with in the best manner. I appreciate Mike's honesty in all things, even when it's hard for me to hear. But I try very hard to approach every discussion with an open heart, and the understanding that Mike loves me very much, and is not criticizing me. Does that make things easier to hear? No, especially when he's right. But it does make me pause and take a deep breath, and approach the conversation without my defenses up and a wall in place. He's my partner in this walk, not my adversary.

"Don't you want to marry me?" I asked, trying to hide the grin in my voice.
"Well, YEAH, but I wasn't sure where you were at!"

So, in the middle of June, in the heat of the day, by the cool of the pool-wait...- we decided. This was it. We were getting married.

The lavish love of God

"The LORD did not choose you and lavish His love on you because you were greater or more powerful than other nations... It was simply because the LORD loves you." Deuteronomy 7:7-8a

This wedding planning sure wasn't what I had expected. Is anything in life ever what we expect? Don't answer that. Don't get me wrong, it has been wonderful. I've been waiting for twenty three years for this moment in time. God has brought me my Mr., and I'm becoming his Mrs.. What a wonderful thing. What more could I ask for? I have been praying since the night Mike proposed that this wedding would be a blessing to the people around us. Our friends and family, the baker, the chef, the minister, right down to the people who press the linens and built the roof of the chapel. I want every person who touches this wedding to see God's blessing in their lives. But I wanted something else too. To see His lavish love. To experience His extravagance. Now, I want to clarify, dear friends, for those of you who might misunderstand. I do not mean I want this wedding to shame the Trumps, Gates, or anyone within their circles. I do not want ice sculptures in our likenesses, or swans dyed to match the color scheme, or even a designer dress. No, I want to experience the kind of lavish love that only my Heavenly Father can provide. I have had the privilege of seeing this kind of love before, the kind of love that makes you embarrassed to share about with other people. But Mike hasn't. And I desperately want him too. So that's what I prayed for.

Let me clarify again: God is not Santa. He does not just hand out stuff when we ask Him for it. But, just as an earthly father, our Heavenly Father loves to give us gifts. And when He does, they tend to blow us away. He doesn't do it for the best of us, or for the worst of us. He doesn't do it to prove He's God, or that He can. He doesn't do it to make us like Him, or to make us jealous of other people. He is God. And He does what He does, the way He does, when He wants to. He is just, He is fair, and He is God. And there is nothing we can do to alter that. But, just like an earthly child, this child of Heaven just has to ask her Daddy for something she wants. My childlike heart just cannot be silent. Because His gifts never disappoint.

Let me also clarify: prayer doesn't work like a letter to Santa. The answers to our prayers rarely look the way we anticipate that they will. And this wedding is no exception. He has come through for us in ways I certainly did not anticipate. First, He made us financially able to have a wedding. A hugely enormous gift that I really did not know would appear. Then He found us a place- THE place, a chapel litteraly straight out of a picture He gave me in my head. A pastor there who will allow us to use their facility to express God's love to us, and our love to eachother the way we want to. A dear friend to do the ceremony and fill it with His love and our story, all rolled into one. A wonderful set of bridesmaids and friends He gave to me, to help me and support me along the way, and who will pay for my lunches and endure writer's cramp after addressing invitations. A family ready and willing to stay up late and be up early, buying out the city's supply of black ribbon, hounding hotel employees, cutting velum JUST the right way, traveling the eight hours to help me plan, and giving me encouragement along the way. And who love me over and beyond the call of duty, and love Mike in the same way. He gave me a wonderful wedding coordinator and terrific pair of photographers who will stop at nothing to capture my vision of the day. A reception hall that is charging me half, and will give the air of elegance and class I am looking for. A beautiful dress, my dream dress, altered just for me, and appearing three months ahead of all possibility- AND then giving me a seamstress that will charge us half the normal price and have it ready in one weekend. I'm crying as I write this, because on top of all of that, He saw fit to give me an increadably understanding fiance who lets me run wild with this, who trusts my judgement, and who tells me, "It's your dream, and I want to see it come true." A fiance who undertook the daunting and overwhelming task of finding us a place to live. And then He gave us a place. A house. A home. A place for us to relax, retreat to, recharge, rejuvinate, and call our own.

I am speachless. He did not lavish His love on us because we are better or smarter, wiser or more foolish, bigger or smaller, stronger or weaker, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health. He did it simply because HE LOVES US!